What Happens When You Stop Trying So Hard in Your Freelance Business?
Things start moving.
That's what happens.
My 10-year-old daughter taught me this a few weeks ago without even realizing it. We were chatting and she was proudly running through every acronym she knows, and the one that kept coming up was IDGAF. Apparently it's very popular in 4th grade.
I laughed.
And then I sat with it for a while.
Because somewhere between becoming a parent, worrying about job security, politics, aging, what other people think of my parenting choices, whether my jeans are outdated, and whether my nail color is still in style, I completely lost my IDGAF energy. It snuck up on me. I used to be a bit more free, a little less rigid, better at zooming out and asking whether something actually mattered. Now I'm deep in the weeds of business and parenting and life and it's genuinely hard to step back and say, who cares?
So a few weeks ago I did something small. I wrote a Substack post without any AI help.
I know. Very rebellious.
But it felt like a breath of fresh air I didn't know I needed. I hadn't realized how much I'd started relying on AI to sharpen and polish everything, how much I felt like I needed it to produce something worth publishing. A long time ago, before any of this, I blogged consistently for years about Star Wars. No AI. Just me writing freely, sometimes twice a week, getting better at it because I was actually doing it. I became a good writer because of that blog and I had completely lost touch with that version of myself.
Writing that post without AI felt like coming back to someone a little more wild. A little more honest.
And here's what happened after that one small thing.
I wrote an angry, unfiltered LinkedIn post without AI and it went viral. I came back to the core of what I actually love about coaching, which is helping people leave corporate and build something real. I started being louder about my opinions. I changed my schedule because it had gotten too rigid. I sent a scary business proposal to a potential investor. I started delegating more. Two people reached out about coaching completely out of nowhere.
None of those are enormous. But they all happened after I stopped white-knuckling everything.
That's the thing nobody talks about when it comes to freelancing. At some point, the trying too hard becomes its own obstacle. You over-edit every post. You wait until it's perfect to send the pitch. You overthink the pricing, the positioning, the subject line, the follow-up timing. And all that careful, anxious effort creates a kind of paralysis that looks like professionalism but is actually just fear.
When you loosen the grip a little, stuff moves. In your business, in your life, in how you show up for clients. It's not about being careless. It's about trusting yourself enough to act without needing everything to be airtight first.
Welcome to my IDGAF era. Honestly, it's going pretty well.
Common Questions You Might Have After Reading
Q: How do you know when you're overthinking in your freelance business versus being genuinely strategic? A: Strategy has a direction. Overthinking goes in circles. If you've been sitting on the same decision, post, or pitch for more than a few days without moving forward, that's usually overthinking dressed up as preparation. Done and imperfect almost always beats perfect and never sent.
Q: Is it okay to write and publish content without using AI? A: More than okay. AI is a useful tool for editing and streamlining, but it can also sand down the edges that make your voice distinctly yours. Some of the best-performing content comes from writing something raw and real and trusting it. Your audience can feel the difference between polished and authentic.
Q: What should you do if you feel burned out from trying too hard in your business? A: Start by identifying what you've been white-knuckling. Usually there's one or two things you've been overthinking that are draining more energy than everything else combined. Pick one and make a decision on it this week, even if it's not perfect. Movement creates momentum faster than planning does.
Q: How do you stop caring what people think when you put yourself out there as a freelancer? A: Honestly, you just do it enough times that the fear gets smaller. The first vulnerable post is terrifying. The tenth is uncomfortable. The fiftieth barely registers. You don't think your way out of the fear. You act your way through it.
If you're in that trying- too- hard-but-, getting- nowhere season with your freelance business, that's exactly what I help untangle inside Flourishing Freelancer.Join us here.
This post was originally written for Substack. In order to get the latest updates on how to build a stable freelance business, please subscribe.